your room smells of hookers.
And success
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize