idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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