We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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