We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
