Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize