you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
