Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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