maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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