I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
