Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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