Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
