normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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