I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
