just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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