I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
