just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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