If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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