Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
