3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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