I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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