you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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