Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
