dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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