How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
