dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just want nice things and good sex
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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