Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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