you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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