yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
