You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I will pee on everything he values.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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