OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
