Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
