And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
