plz talk dirty to me
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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