Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
