How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
