Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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