8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
