I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
