"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize