Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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