In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
