thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
