In the future we'll all be gay
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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