My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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