bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize