yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
