Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
