Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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