I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
