Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
