Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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