afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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