He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
