I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
