I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
