why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
