I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
