it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
