That's intense
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
