I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
