Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This baby is an asshole
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize