but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
