I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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