Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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