This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize