youre lurking in front of me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
