my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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