Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
