John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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