we're chasing vodka with high fives
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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